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Ah transitions; they are not always an easy experience in life, regardless of the situation. When it comes to being a nanny, I have experienced all kinds of transitions when starting a position with a new family; some I would not like to relive and others which were seamless. There are certain things to be expected, others you will never be able to prepare for, pleasant surprises, and most certainly tough times. My biggest piece of advice is to be patient, but there are a few other suggestions I have that will ease your transition.
Be Prepared…as much as you can
When starting a position with a new family, there are certain things to consider and prepare for. There are two likely situations that you will be going into…either the children have had a nanny before, sometimes more than one, or they have never had a nanny.
With the children that have had a nanny or nannies before, you should expect there was an established relationship and a certain level of attachment. In a way, you will be competing with this. in some cases there will not be much resistance to a new nanny and a new way of doing certain things, but I personally have experienced some serious, “Well, our oooooother nanny did it this way” or “I like the way our other nanny made cookies”. What I have found to be the most successful in the later situation is to address the children as soon as possible and explain to them that no, you are not their previous nanny, and yes, some things will be different. You can ask the children what their favorite and least favorite things were about their previous nanny and you and the children can come up with a new middle ground. (Never forget that you are in charge, however, and that certain things like safety *always* come first.) Not only will this provide you with a bonding experience to make the transition easier, but you will set a new standard to which you can refer to in the future.
In the situation of the children never having a nanny before, you will not have much competition in the way of nannies, but the children will be used to how their parents run the show. A similar approach to the last scenario can be taken, but be aware that there might be more resistance due to the fact that the children have never had the show run by anyone else.
I provide a seemingly obvious piece of advice…every child is different and situations will most definitely change depending on age.
Patience or Change?
Once you have embarked on your new transition, there is no definite length of time it will last for and there may be a lot of ups and downs. Generally speaking, as I advised earlier, patience is what you will need to rely on most. It may take a while, but the children will adjust to new ways. However, there are things to keep an eye out for that may make the transition harder. During my most recent nanny transition, it was discovered that the child was having a negative response to my arrival in the morning. At first, the mother and I summed it up to me being the new nanny and that the child had recently experienced a lot of other transitions. So we kept on going with the usual schedule and waited patiently to see if things became easier. After weeks of the same not-so-welcoming welcome in the morning, we started to analyze the situation a little closer, and what we discovered had nothing to personally do with me. The child is allowed to watch a very beloved hour of t.v. in the morning, and we realized that the shutting off of the t.v. right before I got there was associated with my arrival, hence making me appear to be the reason for the beloved t.v. being shut off. Solution: turn the t.v. off after I arrive. So now I watch t.v. with the wee one for a little while, then the t.v. goes off with very little protest, and off we go to play.
Although there are likely to be other issues and coping strategies with making the transition into a new family, I feel the ones I have addressed are the most likely and most important. Just remember….patience, patience, patience.
