- Image by Getty Images via Daylife
The Three Things You Should Know About Where You Are Moving Before You Move Are:
1. The Cheapest Place to Buy Diapers
2. The Nearest Playground
3. The Closest Emergency Room
Yes, the emergency room. Because Murphy’s Achem’s Razor Law of Inverse Gravitation Childhood Alignment dictates that you will only need the emergency room in your new city or town the first week that you live there. Right about the time when you are still figuring out what light (or in my case out here in the country, what set of trees) to turn left at to get out of the neighborhood most efficiently, you will need the emergency room.
And when you get to the new emergency room in the new town via the new roads? Your child, rest assured, will be fine. In fact, the hand you thought was shattered will miraculously heal at the sight of ER nurses with stethoscopes, and your wailing, inconsolable child will cease crying immediately, and begin chasing said nurses around, pulling up his shirt and screaming “Belly!” at them in his version of a command to listen to his heartbeat. And thankfully, they will comply. Then your child will rearrange the ER waiting room, and topple some trays full of important medical devices, and you will be sent home and processed out of there at lightning quick speeds that set new records for bureaucratic efficiency.
Not that this happened to me, or anything. No. I’m just surmising that when you move, these are the three things you should know the locations of before your boxes ever arrive. For sanity’s sake, if not also safety.
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a hospital sounds like a fine place for an adventure. sure beats those boring playgrounds.
.-= ang´s last blog ..Vancouver beat =-.
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