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Remember that song from Sesame Street: “Which of these things is like the other? Which of these things is not the same?” When it comes to babies, no baby is like another. That’s why the parenting advice industry is so huge: most of the books and websites are written by parents who could not find what they needed to help them with their particular situation. However, in pregnancy, this tiny little but oh-so-important detail is somewhat glossed over by all the pregnancy books. They tend to either focus exclusively on managing your pregnancy and delivery, without also helping you prepare yourself for that brutal first six weeks; or, they present baby care advice in a kind of generic way that suggests it works on all of those little kiddos once you finally give birth to them.
To some extent, this is true. All babies need basic types of care. But you will quickly realize, and I do mean quickly, how much personality emerges even at a young age in children. That is why parenting is such a trial and error process, and why there is so much emphasis on “listening to your instincts” as a parent. For instance, within our playgroup, the five little boys have each used a different soothing device since birth, without accepting any substitutes. One sucks two fingers and has a special blanket. One will only use a pacifier. Another insists on pacifier and blanket. The fourth accepts nothing except his mom laying down with him. The fifth is a thumb sucker with a favorite stuffed animal. Each of these boys adopted these soothing habits in the first weeks of birth. They have never deviated from this routine.
So as you continue to prepare your body and your home for your new baby, try to keep in mind that everything you read and hear will be a little different in your baby. There will certainly be similarities, especially to the way you were as a baby, but your child really is unique. This doesn’t make all those advice books useless, it just makes the process of being a parent adventurous. Discovering your baby’s personality is one of the real pleasures in the midst of a lot of sleep deprivation and laundry. Look forward to it. Enjoy it.
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I totally agree the fact that every baby is unique. Good one.